Will You Take This Call, Part 2

By Kate McKinney

 

 

I want to clarify my position from Part 1. 

I take my calling as a mother seriously. I do believe it is a call.

But I believe it is one facet of a higher call.

I believe the message to women that Motherhood is the Highest Call is damaging, not only to women who are childless, but also to mothers.

That it is damaging to childless woman should be obvious.

To women who are childless by choice, the message is that they are disobedient to God in not taking on the mantle of the highest calling. They are missing out on the blessing. It doesn’t matter if they are childless due to health, mental or physical, or lack of maternal desire, or due to life circumstances. They are beneath.

To women who are childless, but not by choice, the pain of being passed on the Highest Calling must be intolerable. Why are women all around them being so blessed? The feelings of inadequacy can be crippling.

It’s time to end this idea.

Motherhood is a special call. There is not doubt. It’s a blessing. There is no doubt.

But to blanket all women with the same mantle is irresponsible, and insensitive to the fact of our individual identities.

This message damages mothers too.

For a woman to wrap her entire identity in her children is detrimental to both her AND her children.

It sets women up for failure. .

When you believe that your children are entirely your responsibility, the pressure on women is insurmountable.

Denying the influence of society, biology, and God on your child’s choices creates a false dichotomy where a woman is held in esteem for her children’s success and responsible for their failure.

This can set the stage for abuse. For helicoptering. And the possibility for crushing disappointment.

Mothers, relieve yourself of that burdon. If your child succeeds or fails, it is not 100% dependent on your ability to mother. There are many factors at work.

It is true that many fathers feel the same pressures, but being a woman I can really only look to my own life and I have rarely heard that “Fatherhood is the highest calling.” Someone might be saying it, but I haven’t heard it.

I do want to address another myth. Sometimes in an effort to serve God woman are pressured to “serve” constantly in their church, leading to exhaustion and burn out.

If you have little children at home, by all means, make them your first priority. Those years are short.

I am not admonishing mothers to neglect their families in a bid for fulfillment.

I just want to encourage you that what you see in front of you is not then end product of your life and faith.

Don’t be afraid, the way I was, to embrace all of God’s gifts to you.